Thou Shalt Not Should On Thyself

I recently had minor surgery and I’m off work. No real pain or discomfort. Should be a jolly time of Hallmark movies, Law and Order episodes, reading and resting.

But…

The brain that is wired to the guilt string never lets there be peace for long.

Oh the ‘shoulds’ that undermine happiness.

I should be reading

I should be writing

I should be making my presence known on social media

I should have a brand, followers.

I should have a platform

I should be focused and not emotionally invested in twelve projects at any one time.

I should be focused on healthy living

I should be volunteering

I should be, should be, should be…

Happy

I should be happy.

I should be happy, for the only thing that lies in my way is my own manufactured angst.

Don’t misunderstand me, angst is angst, manufactured or created by circumstances. There’s just more guilt in manufactured angst – I should be able to control it.

I have been introspective all of my life. I just can’t let pesky thoughts and feelings alone. Like a scab that must be picked. I just can’t let myself be happy.

But for the rest of today, I am going to pick a direction and go with it. I am going to fight the shoulds and focus on the random beauty about me and the small joys. I am going to be curious about the future and find things to look forward to.

I hope your day is should-free and curiosity piques your mind.

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